While driving today, my wife noticed a sign on a local cremation service that read, “Basic Cremation $895″. What followed was a erratic conversation about the differences between basic cremation and delux cremation.
What does delux cremation get you? Does it increase the temperature with which you are cremated? Perhaps they play some nice funeral music while you are buring, like the musak that plays in funeral homes. Or, better yet, maybe you can get something with a bit more culture to it, like Disco Inferno, Springsteen’s I’m on Fire or Smokin’ in the Boys Room. Maybe with delux cremation they add some phosphorous to the fire to make all those nice colors. Does the deluxpackage give you preferred burning so that you get burned up before anyone who settled for basic cremation? Or does it afford the gratifying opportunity to be cremated with your favorite pet (e.g. ancient Egyptians who were buried with their horses, dogs & cats) or Hindus whose wives prefer to throw themselves on the funeral pyre rather than suffer life without you. That’s a nice option. “Honey, what do you think? Shall we go for the delux package?”
I saw another funeral home advertising, “Complete cremation $975″. Of course, a discerning consumer searching for a bargin must ask, “What do they cremate for…say…$750?”
It just makes an O.W. wonder…
OW
Hey, Tod -
I found your new blog via Facebook yesterday and am happy to see you’ve jumped into blogging, again. I hope this time you’ll “stick!”
I have enough faith in you about it that I’ve added you (back) to my blogroll over at Finding Direction!
You must not be telling anyone about this because I see you’ve had no comments, yet. I’ve got you tagged as a “favorite” already, so will be dropping by all the time.
This one about cremation is funny! Actually, one of my very best blogging friends, Greg England (he’s in my blogroll), was a cofC minister for 30 years and is now a funeral director in Temecula, California. I’m going to send him the link to this post to see what HE has to say about your questions! (Which I think are very good ones.) I’ll try to get him to comment here so we can all see what the deal is (“complete” cremation, huh?).
He’s an Alabama boy who’s been all over, but ended up preaching in Long Beach, CA 14 years (before he retired last year), where they have a praise band once a month (those “liberals,” you know!). He has a great blog that you would really enjoy (if you can find a little time to read it – and you should).
Cheers & Blessings to you today!
Dee